Ad Wake (beginning)

When he woke up in the morning there was an ad wrapped around his neck above his pajama shirt’s collar. The ad looked like the smooth material of a necktie and when he looked up or turned his head to the side the brand’s name would flash in sleek blue letters below his chin.
He went to the bathroom, took off his socks and noticed two ads on the bottoms of his feet. The ads had pictures of magnified green germs, sharp teeth poking through their slimy skins, warning him of the embarrassing dangers of foot odor. Sitting on the toilet, holding his calf in his hands, he looked at his feet and read about the psychological findings of doctors who confined one man with stinky feet in the midst of a small family of people with fresh-smelling feet, thanks to the help of the product being advertised, and how the smelly man was quickly ostracized, left alone in the bathroom much like he was at the moment.
Having checked the rest of his body and finding only one more ad on his stomach for a health food store, the man slipped into his suit and left his apartment. The first person he saw once outside his building was a man who lived down the hall from him whose name he did not know. The man was sweating, looking down at the sidewalk as if ashamed. A rectangular ad had been stretched over his mouth. Scrolling across the miniature screen, the ad read, “I didn’t brush my teeth last night. Why? Because my toothpaste ran out. After work, I’ll be sure to pick up some Toothpaste brand Toothpaste so this won’t happen again!”

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  1. video narcolepsy

    I love this…can you please write this again, but much longer? Publish that ish.

  2. Mallory

    trav this is amazing. i agree with andrew, you should make it longerrr. your blog is definitely going in my “blogs i love” section of my blog. post more!!




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